Category Archives: Self-disclosure

Why I’m Blogging about Relationships

I posted a poll and asked you all what I should write about next. The winner was “more about me,” so the next few blogs will be more about my story.

I’m the kind of person that always wants to know why people do the things they do. I observe people—the decisions they make, the way they interact with each other, the words they say, the emotions they show—and the question that usually pops into me head is “why.” Perhaps some of you have wondered that about me and this blog. Why write a blog about relationships? What motivates me?

I suppose the first reason I’m motivated to write about relationships is that I’m married to my best friend; I’ve found fulfillment in marriage. There’s nothing better than knowing I get to spend the rest of my life with the love of my life. But there’s a lot of negativity in our culture regarding marriage. You know what I’m talking about. Marriage is a ball and chain. Your wedding day is the day you lose your freedom. It’s also the day you give up a happily spontaneous life and begin a miserably monotonous life. Marriage doesn’t have to be like that. In fact, it isn’t supposed to be. Marriage can be fun, exciting, fulfilling, comforting, passionate—and so much more. It’s kind of like that Smart car commercial: you know the one where everyone is saying “Big, big, big,” and then all of a sudden this one guy breaks the trend and says “Small.” Those of us who are in happy marriages kind of feel like that guy. While most of our culture seems to think marriage sucks, we’ve discovered that it doesn’t have to be that way. So that’s the first reason for this blog. I’m found happiness in my marriage, and I just feel like shouting to the world, “Hey guys, this is actually really great!”

The second reason I’m motivated to write about relationships is because I’ve observed the relationships of other people. Both my own experience and what I’ve observed reinforces my belief that we’ve fallen for a lie when it comes to love, sex, dating, and marriage. There is a persistent mythology that runs through our culture regarding love and relationships, and it colors almost everything that we think and feel about relationships. (In a previous blog I’ve written about some of these myths, and I’ll be writing more about them in the future.) I had a rather untraditional experience in dating (sometime I’ll also write more about that, too), but when I consider that I ended up successfully married, I have to wonder if maybe that’s just it. Maybe doing things differently than the culture says we should is the way to find true love and happiness.

Now, I’ve said this before, but I need to say it again: I don’t consider myself an expert when it comes to relationships. I’ve only been married for about two and a half years. So far, so good, and I intend to keep it that way. But I’m sure I will continue to learn things about maintaining a successful marriage in the years to come. This brings me to the third reason I’m motivated to write this blog. I’m hoping to learn from the people who comment on it. Whether you’ve been married for five days or five decades, you know something about marriage that might help someone else. The same goes for dating, too. What you learned from your experience might be useful to other folks who are going through similar experiences. So if you’re single, dating, married, divorced, or whatever, I hope you’ll contribute to the conversation. We need you! As one of my professors says, “It takes us all to know it all.”

So that’s a little more about me and why I’m writing this blog. Stay tuned for more!


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Read this first!

Relationships are something I’ve given much thought to. They’re a frequent topic of conversation for my wife, Emmalee, and me. We’ve actually discussed writing a book about relationships. It will probably be a few years in the making, partly because we’re both busy and partly because we need a few more years of marriage under our belts before people will take us seriously. That’s not such a bad thing, as I readily agree that I’m a still a greenhorn when it comes to marriage. But to help start the book-writing process, I’ve decided to start this blog about relationships. Hopefully it will spark some good conversation that will help our thinking process. So if you comment on this blog, you might end up being quoted in our book someday (with your permission, of course).

I don’t consider myself an expert on relationships; these blogs reflect my personal beliefs, observations, and musings, and are not necessarily universal truth. Please, I encourage you to comment whether you agree or disagree with my views; that’s the point of this blog. Also, in no way am I trying to be judgmental toward anyone who may suffer from some of the relationship maladies I discuss. I’m far from perfect, and I’ve made my share of mistakes in relationships. I’ve tried to learn from those mistakes. I’m writing not to judge others, but because I want to help people have better, more fulfilling relationships. We all desire love and happiness. I am blessed to be in a wonderful marriage with the most incredible woman I have ever met. This blog is me sharing my journey. I invite you to share yours as well, and together we can live and learn.

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Posted by on January 23, 2012 in Self-disclosure

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